The best pub jokes to share at the table
Ready for a bit of horsing around? Saddle up, because we’ve rounded up a brand-new batch of neigh-on perfect pub jokes to help you become the certified clown of the round.
No recycled puns. No dusty dad jokes. Just fresh, pint-ready giggles sure to get your mates spitting out their shandies.
So, trot on down to a Hungry Horse near you, grab your favourite drink, and unleash these beauties at the table. And if your friends don’t laugh… tell the bartender. They’ve heard worse. Trust us.
Laugh No. 1
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
Laugh No. 2
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
Laugh No. 3
A bloke walks into a pub carrying a ladder.
Bartender asks, “What’s that for?”
He says, “I heard the drinks were on the house.”
Laugh No. 4
Why did the tomato sit at the bar?
Because it couldn’t ketchup with its friends.
Laugh No. 5
A ghost walks into a pub.
Bartender says, “Sorry mate, we don’t serve spirits before 12.”
Ghost replies, “Typical.”
Laugh No. 6
Two termites walk into a bar.
One asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
Laugh No. 7
A weasel strolls into a bar.
The bartender says, “Woah, I’ve never served a weasel before. What would you like?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
Laugh No. 8
Why don’t skeletons go to pub quizzes?
They don’t have the guts.
Laugh No. 9
A penguin waddles into a pub and asks, “Have you seen my brother?”
Bartender says, “I don’t know… what does he look like?”
Laugh No. 10
A gentleman watches an old man fishing outside the pub.
Curious, he invites him inside for a drink.
As they sip, he asks, “So how many have you caught today?”
The old man says, “You’re the eighth.”
Find one of our pubs near you now
Unlike the high street, you won’t be paying anywhere near £17 a pint at our pubs. For that price, you could get a round, food, and still have change for the pool table.
So, what are you waiting for?
Round up your mates, bring your best material, and head to a Hungry Horse near you for giggles, drinks, and the kind of value that would make a comedian weep.
Find your nearest Hungry Horse pub now — and go make someone snort-laugh.