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The best pub jokes to share at the table

Time for a bit of horsing around? Wanna hear some haylarious gags? Neighvermind the questionable puns, we promise we’ll rein them in..! It’s all laughter from here on out as we get stuck into some of the best pub jokes around. 

So take note, head to a pub near you now and get ready to make your mates giggle! If they don’t find them funny, saddle up to the bar and tell one of our bartenders instead!

Laugh No. 1

A horse walks into a pub. The bartender asks, “Why the long face?” 

Laugh No. 2

Another horse walks into a pub. The bartender says, “Hey.” 


The horse says, “Yes, please.” 

Laugh No. 3

A man walks into a pub with a roll of tarmac under his arm. 

He says, "Two pints, please. One for me and one for the road."

Laugh No. 4

A woman goes into a pub with her small pet newt called Tiny. 

“A pint for me and a half for Tiny please”, she says to the bartender.

The bartender asks, "Why did you call him Tiny?”

The woman replies, “Because he’s my newt.”

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Laugh No. 5

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never served a weasel before. What can I get you?” 

“Pop”, goes the weasel. 

Laugh No. 6

“Poor old fool”, thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. 

As they sipped their whiskies, the gentleman thought he’d humour the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?” 

The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.” 

Laugh No. 7

Two lawyers walk into a pub. They order a couple of drinks and take their sandwiches out of their briefcases and then they begin to eat them. 

Seeing this, the landlord says, “Excuse me, but you can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!” 

The two lawyers look at each other, shrug their shoulders, and then exchange sandwiches.

Laugh No. 8

A sandwich walks into a pub and asks for a pint. 

The bartender says, “I’m sorry, we don’t serve food here.” 

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Laugh No. 9

A bear walks into a pub and says, “Can I have a…………………………………………………pint of ale please?” 

The bartender says, “Sure, but why the big paws?” 

Laugh No. 10

A polar bear walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer. 

The bartender says, “£17, please.” 

The polar bear pays and takes a seat. 

Bemused, the bartender approaches and says, “This is exciting, we don’t get many polar bears in here!” 

To which the polar bear replies, “I’m not surprised when your beer’s £17 a pint.” 

Find one of our pubs near you now

ou won’t have to pay anything like 17 quid a pint at Hungry Horse! You could get a whole round for that. Jokes, drinks, you’ll be the toast of the town. 

So what are you waiting for? Find your nearest Hungry Horse pub near you open now and get your mates together for a good laugh!